"I AM NOT THE GOOD KIND OF DYKE"
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this particular piece of ascii art was made by a girl named "Xena" in 2006.
i found this on the website "ascii art farts" which i think is maybe one of the first
examples of early internet shitposting / meme making. most of the ascii art on this website
seems to be 'comic strip style.' a lot of it is kind of unbearable to look at as far as the
actual content of the jokes behind the ascii art. this really only confirms my theory that
there have always and will always be "edgelords" online.
i feel like the people who only subscribe to 'offensive comedy' are almost always dumb
and 100% are slightly deranged at the least. if shock value jokes are all you can come up
with and laugh at you've got to be affected in some way emotionally, right?
i guess i think if you've got to have something offensive or shocking in comedy there needs to be
good nuance or context to back it up. don't just tell me you hate women, tell me why. ya know?
anyway, this piece by "Xena" is one of my favorites off of this particular ascii art website.
obviously i like it because it's gay.
what's your version of "the good kind of dyke" or "the bad kind of dyke" though?
i think if i absolutely had to think of a bad kind of dyke it would probably have to be
long haired butches with 'good vibes only' snapbacks. they're not inherently bad because at the
end of the day they're still special enough to genuinely experience sapphic love in their lifetime.
not everyone is chosen by god to be able to experience that.
but their fashion choices are questionable and an easy target for me to make jokes about.
i'm really sorry long haired butches with 'good vibes only' snapbacks.
maybe my future wife will be a long haired butch with a 'good vibes only' snapback,
or was one at some point in her gay career.
and you know what? i'm happy she's enjoying her hat. past, present, or future tense.
also i can't really judge.
so far i've only dated heroin addicts or former heroin addicts. which is crazy because i've still never
seen heroin in person and it's not a word i google image search very often. what does heroin even look like?
(update: i just google image searched "heroin" and it turns out that it's just a white powder. that's so boring. i imagined it looking crazier. shouldn't it look crazier? just my opinion.)
my favorite heroin adjacent story was definitely when sky ferriera and the guy from diiv
(zachary cole smith - it's literally so dumb that i even know his name) were arrested together.
"The paper reports that Smith was found with a 'plastic bag containing 42 decks of heroin,'
while Ferreira 'was found in possession of ecstasy and resisted arrest.'"
Phillips, Amy. "Sky Ferreira and DIIV's Zachary Cole Smith Arrested." Pitchfork,
Pitchfork, 16 Sept. 2013, www.pitchfork.com/news/52305-sky-ferreira-and-diivs-zachary-cole-smith-arrested/.
Breihan, Tom. "Sky Ferreira & DIIV's Zachary Cole Smith Arrested." Stereogum,
Stereogum, 16. Sept. 2013, www.stereogum.com/1475671/sky-ferreira-diivs-zachary-cole-smith-arrested/video/
this is what they looked like when they got their mugshots taken. i think this is a really funny
piece of indie gossip history. this is the kind of image that immediately just sort of
takes me back to when indie gossip meant something to me.
now all we have to think about is like... i don't know...
lana del rey's famous cop bf? he's ugly and boring. next.
elon and grimes are funny obviously but simply still too surreal to wrap my head around.
reading articles about them or seeing gossip (e.g azealia banks' instagram stories) really feels as if
i'm way too deep down a fanfic rabbit hole. to the point of my perception of reality being fully warped
and i think they're really having a baby together.
i know i'm rambling here but please enjoy "Xena's" work.
this blog will be my digital archive and my diary.
if mark zuckerberg already has my blood type in his iPhone notes or whatever then he can have my diary too.
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