you're under arrest for having a septum piercing

here is a meme i need to archive. i originally found it through a poet that i follow on instagram. (@theworstpoet)

he usually doesn't post memes but i can see why he would post this one, keeping the nature of his work in mind.

as a woman who views a lot of content it’s safe to assume that my brain is fairly smooth and wrinkle-free. with that being said, i f*cking love screen time. it’s not unhealthy if you’re using it correctly and can still find beauty in nature when you go outside. sometimes when i hear myself visually describing (in great excitement) a meme i saw earlier in the day to a group of people at a bar i feel bad and/or silly.

this usually passes though because the memes i describe are not bad. 

“it’s like... the scary vibe check emoji guy, but dressed like a cop. and it has classic impact font top and bottom text that reads “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST / FOR HAVING A SEPTUM PIERCING.” 

“it’s like… a really pixelated photo of someone pulling two tomato slices out of their wallet. and it has classic impact font top and bottom text that reads “BFHDJDKFKFBSNDM / NDNDMNDNSKDHDJD.”

the fact that those words have left my mouth and i’m still able to just like

have a normal day and take a shower is astonishing to me. 

i feel like anyone who has looked up “bones” on etsy.com, or is reading about maritime laws on wikipedia for fun shouldn’t be allowed to just ... eat toast or whatever.

anyone who actively reads the “r/ambien” subreddit shouldn’t be allowed to work a job where you wear a button down shirt everyday. right? right? 

the duality of woman...

fact: imvu played a major role in me realizing i was a lesbian. 

fact: i love to eat clementines and paint every morning. 

fact: every source of income i currently have is directly linked to the internet in some way. 

fact: sometimes i go outside and watch my cat chase squirrels around the yard. 

         i don’t encourage or discourage this behavior, because she can make her own decisions. 

fact: my main source of political news is through instagram stories and memes. 

fact: surprisingly, i’ve only killed a couple of my plants in the last year. which i’m proud of. 

fact: my phone is barely functioning due to the lack of storage space i have on it,

despite paying for the extra icloud storage every month. 

fact: sometimes i will sit down and read a physical book, rather than a PDF. this makes me feel like a transcendentalist. 

what if we accidental kissed at walden pond? o.O

this is sort of unrelated but i remember going to a poetry reading in maybe (2017?) and one of the poems read was about wanting to visit that pink lake that was a viral photo on tumblr. it was very 2014 but honestly that lake is crazy and i don't blame her for being inspired by that. if i remember correctly she was writing from the perspective that she had fomo about not being there, and just being able to see photos of it on tumblr. i only remember one line from the poem, it was something to the effect of "...you... swimming... me... scrolling." and i remember thinking "wow, this is meta." my favorite part about that poem was everyone in the room knowing exactly what pink lake from tumblr she was referring to.

tumblr really did a number on all of us.

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i think in 2020 we should start unironically typing “o.O” again - y’all have any thoughts on this?