"love in the age of coronavirus"

it is simply true that i've probably already made too many covid jokes. when something is relatable to everyone on earth it's kind of hard not to lean into that urge to post though. i feel like maybe if anyone was going to get this virus it would probably be me because i'm special and cute. so it's convenient that i'm usually already in quarantine, churning out clickbait for the content mill. i feel like (comedically speaking) it's my time to shine as someone who self isolates and loves it.

here's what i bought at the grocery store to sustain me through the indefinite quarantine: 

- a bag of radishes 

- 3 large bottles of flavored seltzer water (on sale for 60¢) (fuji apple, tangerine mango, and blackberry lemonade) 

- 3 cans of solid white albacore tuna (???)

- 2 boxes of gluten free pasta 

- 1 box of not gluten free pasta 

- 'very vanilla' soymilk from the brand 'silk' 

- a family sized box of 'pops' cereal 

- 1 cucumber 

- 1 pint of cute and sweet cherry tomatoes

- 1 5lb sack of clementines (should have gotten more, i'm such an idiot. going to eat these in like 1 or 2 days probably)

-  baby swiss cheese 

- arugula 

- bacon 

- 1 70¢ loaf of 'everything bagel' flavored 'french bread' 

- white wine 

- a 40oz of colt 45

- 2 frozen pizzas 

- 1 avocado lol 

- 3 packs of marlboro red 100s (i'm going to have to ration these. hopefully the quarantine forces me to stop smoking.) 

- AA batteries for vibrator 

- cat food 

- gummy candy <3 xo 

now that i've written all of this out i can see that my shopping list is incredibly whack, for whatever reason though... this is what made sense to me while i was in the grocery store. 

my roommate is going to utah to see her dad and maybe i will dip into her supply if she gets stuck there. 

here are my plans for the quarantine: 

- finish all paintings i have started, start 3 more

- twitter.com 

- learn how to walk on water. i have a moat in my backyard that i feel could be utilized more (?) 

- learn russian or something

- eat clementines

- commit all of the seven deadly sins

- write 14 books 

- easily get all 14 books published through major publishing houses because they're good

- record 7 studio albums with bonus tracks (music videos for each song - is that just a visual album?) 

- record a fake boiler room dj set video (green screen)

- record a fake lot radio dj set video (green screen) 

- figure out the termite situation in my house - they are literally chewing through the wall right now and it's really freaky and i don't know what to do. where should i move when my lease is up in summer... maybe i'm done with atlanta... wow... damn the termites got me that f*cked up i guess. 

honestly though i should just sublease my room in this house and just go be crazy elsewhere for a while. "live off the land..." coronavirus is kind of 'harshing my mellow' ? (do people say this?) is it selfish to keep my travel plans - like i said i would probably get this virus based off of everything else i've experienced in my lifetime. it just seems like it might just be 'part of my story' but who knows. 

anyway, isn't this, like, the funniest thing you've ever seen?

actually you know what? i'm far too cute to acquire covid. 

cancelling my flights xo even though i want to purchase more tickets because they're so d*mn cheap right now. 

honestly, i was going to go to nyc and then take a $40 amtrak to albany to surprise the hoes in vermont but bennington campus is on lockdown and it's cold there right now anyway... i need to see the lush green mountains... you're all invited. beautiful photo ops. and i have been thinking about this one sandwich in albany, ny everyday for like 2 years straight now. mommy wants. 1 day...